Wellness Wizard Gifts

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

Farmacy.

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

'This is great. A fruit you can eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

"Well on a positive note, the cuts to the furniture budget have given me thighs of steel!"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"The doctor is a paranoia specialist -- He can't be bothered with self-esteem cases."

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Profit

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

Unguided imagery

Hot Pie Therapy

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged