Wellness Wizard Gifts

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

Farmacy.

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

'This is great. A fruit you can eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

"Well on a positive note, the cuts to the furniture budget have given me thighs of steel!"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"The doctor is a paranoia specialist -- He can't be bothered with self-esteem cases."

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Profit

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

Unguided imagery

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Shrinks in heaven

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'