Wellness Wonderer Gifts

'Acupuncture, but isn't that painful?"

"Because when it actually works they just call it medicine."

'I feel FINE, but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!'

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Unguided imagery

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'What are you eating now?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'