Wellness Wanderers Gifts

"I'm on a detox cleanse, so I'll wait for a vegetarian."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Unguided imagery

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

"Can I still do my pilates?"

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

'It took years of therapy before I became the Bluebird of Happiness.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

Guy in gym

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'

Card: Get Human Soon!

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Cures for the void.

Three cases of therapy-resistant low self-esteem

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

"Holy moly!"

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'