Wellness Journeyer Gifts

"I think I’ve mastered the “sitting in front of the TV” pose."

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Unguided imagery

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Dieting Motivation.

'It took years of therapy before I became the Bluebird of Happiness.'

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Scales

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Card: Get Human Soon!

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

"My diet book is outselling yours."

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'