Fitness Journeyer Gifts

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

He has to chase it around until the french fry falls out.

"I've been trying to diet, but it's been up and down and up and down..."

'My fat is like a disgruntled ex-employee.'

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

Obese man wearing a T-shirt with 'Too Big To Fail'.

'This is not an obscene call - I'm huffing and puffing because I'm out of breath!'

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

Guy in gym

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

Yoga for beginners,

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

A woman stares at a birthday cake that has "4,000,000 calories" written on top of it in icing.

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

"My diet book is outselling yours."

A mid-lithe crisis.

"I can't give enlightenment, only great calves."