Fitness Adventurer Gifts

Yoga for beginners,

"This feels like an accomplishment."

No wonder kickboxing seems so hard.

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'Try letting go a little sooner next time.'

'I touched my toes once -- Believe me, it's overrated.'

"A diet that really works? Eat less, exercise more."

Bored with yoga, the very fittest neighborhood moms start up a "Running with Furniture" club.

"This isn't any better than a treadmill stress test, but it's a lot more fun for me."

"You don't have to sell the farm. There are people who will pay money to lift and carry big tires."

Football

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Man indignant at having caught no fish

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Odd Spas

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

Pole Vaulting Club

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Bull Treadmill

"The gods really love tight buns."

A Man mixing up his sports.

Stationary bicycles.

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

Spa. The fitness trainer said I've been letting it hang out for too long to just tuck it back in.

"Every time I go near the refrigerator, my fitness app somehow locks it. I think they're both conspiring against me."

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

No, it doesn't help when he calls it "oarabics."