Flexible Fitness Adventurer Gifts

"We're meant to be doing the tree pose."

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"This feels like an accomplishment."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

"Remember, ladies, if you are doing this right you shouldn't be able to do it."

Rogue elephant

Yoga for beginners,

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

'This new 'flexible working' scheme is a great idea. . . It helps us to identify staff who have a more balanced life. People who have interests outside of the office.'

'OK... Technically you CAN touch your toes.'

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

A mid-lithe crisis.

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

Bull Treadmill

'This part of your office's new flexible-work-from-home-schedule?'

"They got rid of 'work from home,' so I pushed for 'blanket forts from office.'"

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

"The gods really love tight buns."

"My alignment is pathetic for downward-facing dog."

No wonder kickboxing seems so hard.

'Steady Lulu, steady, ...HEEL!' - The Rare Poodle Retriever.

'Flexible working can lead to many benefits, increased productivity, reduced travel expenses, lower stress levels and most importantly...Henry gets to go on more walks.'

Stationary bicycles.

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

The Acrobat/Musician

'How are your yoga classes working out?'

'Oh...you actually meant bedroom gymnastics.'

No, it doesn't help when he calls it "oarabics."