Diet Journeyer Gifts

'YOU MAKE ME SICK!!'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Anti-inflammation recipes

Sisyphus Sawyer

International House of Excrement

'New Barbeque.'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

Odd Spas

"My diet book is outselling yours."

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

"Why have you brought me here?"

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

'Why did you switch doctors?', 'The last one was too skinny.'

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

Obese Hansel and Grettle

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'