Diet Journey Gifts

If you eat like that you'll get fat and die.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Yes I do notice an improvement. Your chins don't juggle anymore.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

A tailor measuring a large man

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

Odd Spas

"Ready to head back?"

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

A mid-lithe crisis.

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

"I can't give enlightenment, only great calves."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

The next big thing

"Buy them - and never look back."

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

The Catkins Diet

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'