New Diet Adventure Gifts

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Garlic Free Zone.

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

Odd Spas

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."