Embarking On A Diet Gifts

"I think I need to go on a diet. I'm tipping the scale."

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

"OK...starting tomorrow, I start photographing smaller portions of food."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Garlic Free Zone.

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

'This scale is gaining weight!'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'