Diet Start Gifts

'So I can see YOUR weight loss program was a success!'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Soup of the month.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

Macho Vegetarian

"You won’t need refills."

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"