Starting A Diet Plan Gifts

"Ready to head back?"

'So, when we stopped serving meals, I thought, why not see this as a marketing opportunity?'

"I'm taking you off 3 of the 4 basic food groups."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Garlic Free Zone.

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'This scale is gaining weight!'

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

'He refuses to overeat and get plump. Do you think he knows something we don't?'

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"