Diet Planning Gifts

"What we have to do is get the government to come up with a minimum daily requirement for pomegranates."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Fruits and vegetables

'I sent out for everything.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

In the Guru District

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Any time is cake o'clock

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Chez Nous Menu

On the back of the t-shirt...

Soup of the month.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Bad for you but to die for

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'