Dietary Planner Gifts

'The doctor said I need more calcium in my diet, so I'm switching from dark chocolate to milk chocolate.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

The ecumenical dinner party.

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'He refuses to overeat and get plump. Do you think he knows something we don't?'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

'How does pizza for dinner sound to you?'

"Ready to head back?"

"Yes, it was a table for eight, but at the last moment our wives refused to join us."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"Because we're a family, that's why. You set the table I dial the phone, and your father orders the chinese food."

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'