Culinary Planner Gifts

"What am I making for dinner tonight?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Like death by salad.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

The ecumenical dinner party.

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"The secret of my success is combining eggs, meat and bread in enough ways to make an eight page breakfast menu."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

'How does pizza for dinner sound to you?'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"I promise you. One day granite kitchens will be the in thing."

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

"Yes, it was a table for eight, but at the last moment our wives refused to join us."