Starting A New Diet Gifts

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

'It's new and it has really caught on!' (High Energy Bar and Grill).

'...is really all the exercise I need to lose weight.'

'I think my gastric band's too tight.'

"I'm starting a new diet today. Let's go out for ice cream to celebrate."

'Three days into my program, and all I've succeeded at cutting out are the humans.'

'I want you to slow down, and that includes fast food.'

'My 30-day diet is taking longer than I expected -- I only have time for it on the weekends.'

'I need some strong sleeping pills -- the thin person inside me screaming to get out keeps waking me up.'

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

"I'm the double of Kate Moss, she's 8 stone, I'm 16."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"The weight loss is great for your health, but not so good for your image."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Someone needs to discover nutritional empty calories."

'Well, one of us is going to have to sit facing them.'

Instant Slimmer Soup.

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'I'm on a diet -- just make it a TWO-bean salad.'

'Dang!'

'Still antsy about the new diet I put you on?'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'This diet is killing me! -- Last night I dreamed that I ate Willy Wonka!'

Weight Loss Cheat.

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'Nothing says congrats on a healthy new diet than an arrangement of broccoli, fruit and cauliflower!'

"A diet? - but I dieted YESTERDAY!"