Committing To A Diet Gifts

'This is not an obscene call - I'm huffing and puffing because I'm out of breath!'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Garlic Free Zone.

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Attack of the 'health' foods

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

'This scale is gaining weight!'

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."