Embarking On A Diet Journey Gifts

"To reinforce my diet, the mirror goes on the fridge."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Garlic Free Zone.

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Yes I do notice an improvement. Your chins don't juggle anymore.'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

Attack of the 'health' foods

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

'This scale is gaining weight!'

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

A tailor measuring a large man