Undergoing Weight Loss Journey Gifts

'As a measure of last resort we could divide you into two people.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'Yes I do notice an improvement. Your chins don't juggle anymore.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

A tailor measuring a large man

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

"My diet book is outselling yours."

"Ready to head back?"

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

"I can't give enlightenment, only great calves."

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

A mid-lithe crisis.

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

'It's me or the cake....'

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

The next big thing

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'