Losing Weight Journey Gifts

"Ready to head back?"

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

'Yes I do notice an improvement. Your chins don't juggle anymore.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

A tailor measuring a large man

"My diet book is outselling yours."

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

A mid-lithe crisis.

"I can't give enlightenment, only great calves."

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

The next big thing

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."