Losing Weight Journey Gifts

"Ready to head back?"

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'Yes I do notice an improvement. Your chins don't juggle anymore.'

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'I knew it was time to do something when I leapt from the stage to do some body surfing and the crowd parted.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Woman on running machine next to a cake.

A tailor measuring a large man

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

"My diet book is outselling yours."

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

A mid-lithe crisis.

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

"I can't give enlightenment, only great calves."

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

The next big thing

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"Would you like your real size or one that artificially inflates your ego?"

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'