Diet Journey Participant Gifts

'And I guess we better make it a diet cola'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Odd Spas

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"My diet book is outselling yours."

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

The Catkins Diet

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

'Why did you switch doctors?', 'The last one was too skinny.'

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

The cake diet.

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

Healthy Eating Fast

'I joined Blubber Watchers.'

Doctor's recommend a well balanced diet...

'As a measure of last resort we could divide you into two people.'

Some Sanctions against Russia Are a Blessing in Disguise

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

All Snack Foods 1/2 Off. Every time I try to fight temptation, temptation fights dirty! (Published originally on Feb. 6 2015).

"Dieting galls my bladder!"

"Are you on another one of those crazy crash diets?"

"To reinforce my diet, the mirror goes on the fridge."

Take It All Off Weight Loss Center