Diet Journey Supporter Gifts

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

All Natural Nothing

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I AM following doctor's orders. He told me to cut back to one cup a day...right?!"

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Odd Spas

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"I programmed the refrigerator to hide from you in between meals."

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'

Diet Cud

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

The Catkins Diet

'Look at it this way. The Dow gained 20% or more in the last three years. That's good. You gained 20 pounds or more in the last three years. That's bad.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'I'm on the workaholic's diet. I only eat when I can put it on an expense account.'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

'I had the same thing for lunch.'

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'