Diet Starter Gifts

"I'm making my leftover turkey-lengua-onion casserole for dinner!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Garlic Free Zone.

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'This scale is gaining weight!'

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'