Diet Start Anniversary Gifts

Shame on You.

"How's the diet going?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Biceps, muscles and brawn

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Garlic Free Zone.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

'This scale is gaining weight!'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'