Diet Starter Pillows

"I'm making my leftover turkey-lengua-onion casserole for dinner!"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

See, eating healthy isn't so bad...."

Garlic Free Zone.

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

Dieting Motivation.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

Attack of the 'health' foods

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

'This scale is gaining weight!'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"Well, Mr Eagle, coming to see me is the first positive step to get you to soar again..."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

Hip Hop Physician: 'Put a halt on salt and cut back on fat. Are you down with that?'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'