Diet Starter Hero Pillows

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

"I do diet...between snacks."

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

'Look at it this way. The Dow gained 20% or more in the last three years. That's good. You gained 20 pounds or more in the last three years. That's bad.'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Big deal about your weight loss advice! I lost my christmas job at Wal-Mart!"

The cake diet.

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

'So I can see YOUR weight loss program was a success!'

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

'It's a new diet. We can eat all we want. But we have to wear boxing gloves.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

"I guarantee that your appetite will be suppressed if you take just one of these diet pills per day."

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.