Diet Starter Hero Pillows

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Dieting Motivation.

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Please help mommy lose some weight. She gets grumpy when she's on a diet that's not working.'

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"I do diet...between snacks."

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'Look at it this way. The Dow gained 20% or more in the last three years. That's good. You gained 20 pounds or more in the last three years. That's bad.'

'Don't be tempted, Mrs. Root, just mail those apple fritters right here to me!'

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Buy them - and never look back."

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

"'A land of milk and honey'? - But I'm on a DIET!"

'So I can see YOUR weight loss program was a success!'

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

"We're not dividing the bill. We're dividing the calories. Two people had cheesecake..."

"Big deal about your weight loss advice! I lost my christmas job at Wal-Mart!"

The cake diet.

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

'It's a new diet. We can eat all we want. But we have to wear boxing gloves.'

'You can have the cherry...I'm on a diet.'

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.