New Diet Plan Gifts

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Garlic Free Zone.

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

"Ready to head back?"

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"I do diet...between snacks."

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

"First, finish that genetically modified asparagus. Then you can have ice cream full of bovine growth hormone."

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

"I think I need to go on a diet. I'm tipping the scale."