New Dietary Choice Gifts

"Heirloom or not, I've got to unhang it because my wife became a vegetarian."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Two vegans, please."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Vegetarian Birds

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."