New Dietary Choice Pillows

"Heirloom or not, I've got to unhang it because my wife became a vegetarian."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Two vegans, please."

Vegetarian Birds

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Garlic Free Zone.

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."