Dietary Change Pillows

And what would you recommend for a lapsed vegan?

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

The discovery of asparagus.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Two vegans, please."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."