Diet Trends Pillows

"Look on the bright side -- At least it's gluten-free."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

You should switch to green juice - It's made from 19 different kinds of grass!

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Uh... did you say you are on a lead diet?' 'Dude... it's all natural!'

'I'm in retox.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Soup of the month.

La Table

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

The discovery of asparagus.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

All Natural Nothing

Queen of Quinoa

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies