Diet Trend Enthusiast Pillows

The next diet fad.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Fat man on scales.

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."