Diet Trend Observer Pillows

"If it's vegan, gluten-free and low-carb, then yes, Polly wants a cracker."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Queen of Quinoa

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Secretive Weigh In.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Critisize your weight.

See you at the farmers market!

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Diet considerations.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).