Diet Observer Pillows

'It's like going on a diet. You don't get fat overnight, so you can't expect to lose it all overnight.'

"And it's diet-friendly, I get them to hold off on the sprinkles."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Critisize your weight.

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

All Natural Nothing

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Secretive Weigh In.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Diet considerations.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Attack of the 'health' foods

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'