Diet Explorer Pillows

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

I've been thinking about trying that "caveman diet."

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

Loose Lips Sink Hips!

'I'm not sure if I'm a vegan or not but I do only eat animals that are herbivores.'

'Let's try this -- I want you to drink a gallon of water before every meal.'

Epiphany: Megan goes vegan.

"I'm all for having a cheat day while dieting. However, you may be taking it a bit too far."

Dietician - Thin and Stout Trays

"Come out of your shell and let's taco 'bout your diet."

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Before/After

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

Odd Spas

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

"We've gone glutton-free."

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

'The Eat Whatever You Can Grab With Boxing Gloves Diet was working wonders for Bertram'.

'My wife is on a diet of bananas and coconuts, she hasn't lost any weight but you can sure climb trees!'