Diet Explorers Pillows

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

All Natural Nothing

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

International House of Excrement

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'New Barbeque.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Nutritional Supplements.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

Odd Spas

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"Cardiac day patients?"

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

Diet Cud

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

"We've gone glutton-free."