Diet Explorers Pillows

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

All Natural Nothing

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

International House of Excrement

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'New Barbeque.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Nutritional Supplements.

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Odd Spas

"Cardiac day patients?"

Nyargh! - 'I swear I will never eat fibre again...' - 'I christen thee 'Titan'.'

Diet Cud

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"We've gone glutton-free."

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'