New Diet Plan Pillows

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

Garlic Free Zone.

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

"Ready to head back?"

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

"I do diet...between snacks."

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

"I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't what they used to be."

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

"First, finish that genetically modified asparagus. Then you can have ice cream full of bovine growth hormone."

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

"Tell me again how well your low sodium diet is going."

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

"I see the gastric bypass seems to be working."

'Let's try again but NO laughing this time!'

"I think I need to go on a diet. I'm tipping the scale."