New Diet Pillows

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Soup of the month.

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

The discovery of asparagus.

Vegetarian Birds

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Macho Vegetarian

"You won’t need refills."

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"Ack! This stuff's hard to eat!"

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

''Exercise'? -- But I hate to eat and run!'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'