New Dietary Choices Gifts

The day Kevin turned vegetarian.

Vegetarian Birds

"Two vegans, please."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"What's cookin', Tia Carmen?"

Heart Disease Menu

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

Hot Rinzelophtats

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"