New Dietary Choices T-Shirts

"Two vegans, please."

Vegetarian Birds

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

Heart Disease Menu

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"What's cookin', Tia Carmen?"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

Hot Rinzelophtats

"Do you see what you are doing to your mother?"

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'