Dieting Journeyer Gifts

"Oh no! Who's been eating my food?"

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Motivation to Keep Fit.

"My diet book is outselling yours."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'

"Why have you brought me here?"

"I can fit you into a small cubicle on the third floor if you think you can lose twenty pounds."

'Why did you switch doctors?', 'The last one was too skinny.'

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

Doctor's recommend a well balanced diet...

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

The only sound preventative health advice for holiday eating.

'I've discovered a new diet. I can eat as much as I like but I'm not to swallow.'

'I joined Blubber Watchers.'

Obese man wearing a T-shirt with 'Too Big To Fail'.

'You've been looking a little scrawny lately.... Hey!— You're not missing another rib, are you?'

FOOD TENDED TO GO DIRECTLY TO EMILY'S EARS....

'The doctor said 'morbidly' but I insisted I was quite upbeat about it,'

"To reinforce my diet, the mirror goes on the fridge."

Temptation.

'Our doctor told me to give up sugar and spice and everything nice.'

"Dieting galls my bladder!"

'You're meant to take the nicotine patches off after you've used them.'