Wellness Explorers Gifts

Clearly, you've been burning the candle at both ends, Mr. Fusco. You have the wick of a man twice your age.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Unguided imagery

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

Odd Spas

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Card: Get Human Soon!

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Lactose intolerance.

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

“I’m not out of shape — I’m just not used to running so much.”

A man's health care options.

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'