Wellness Explorers Gifts

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Unguided imagery

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Card: Get Human Soon!

Lactose intolerance.

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Odd Spas

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

“I’m not out of shape — I’m just not used to running so much.”

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

A man's health care options.

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"MMPHH. . . I said I don't think I'm built for yoga!"

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

'I take it this wasn't quite the outcome you were expecting from your 'spot reduction diet'?'