New-age Wellness Explorer Gifts

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Unguided imagery

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Scales

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

Card: Get Human Soon!

Lactose intolerance.

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Odd Spas

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

Our Life Coaches: New Beginnings Retreat Center

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

Californians Abroad.

"Is it working?"

“I’m not out of shape — I’m just not used to running so much.”

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.