New-age Wellness Explorer T-Shirts

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Unguided imagery

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Scales

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

Lactose intolerance.

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Odd Spas

Card: Get Human Soon!

"Colin's relaxation classes seem to have worked."

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

"Is it working?"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

“I’m not out of shape — I’m just not used to running so much.”

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

Our Life Coaches: New Beginnings Retreat Center

Californians Abroad.

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.