Health And Wellness Explorer T-Shirts

'Who wants to live longer if you have to live without cookies.'

'You claim that you are 'Big boned'. Luckily it doesn't show as you are even 'Bigger fleshed'!'

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified food will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"Ever since the accident, I can't seem to get it together."

Odd Spas

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Lactose intolerance.

"Krazy straw"

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

Just one of the many ways self-help books can improve people's lives.

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

A man's health care options.

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

"Damn, Tyler, I thought you'd worked through all that in therapy."

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

'I take it this wasn't quite the outcome you were expecting from your 'spot reduction diet'?'

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

'You want to feel happy? There's an app for that.'

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'