Wellness Explorer T-Shirts

'On Mondays & Tuesdays, Dr. Pruess prractices conventional medicine; on Thursdays & Fridays, he practices alternative medicine.'

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

"Try distance healing if you like, but it's a bit of a long shot"

"Mind, body, spirit."

"I can deal with the cold, but the fear that this might not be the answer to all my problems is beginning to get to me."

"I appreciate your desire for a new photo ID following your significant weight loss, but our policy to decline your request is based on the sad reality that you're probably going to gain it all back."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Unguided imagery

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"Ever since the accident, I can't seem to get it together."

Lactose intolerance.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

"Krazy straw"

Odd Spas

Card: Get Human Soon!

"Tell you what, dude, I'm writing you a prescription for a scented candle and some granola."

“I’m not out of shape — I’m just not used to running so much.”

'My guru thinks you're nuts.'

Just one of the many ways self-help books can improve people's lives.

A man's health care options.

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'