Weight Loss Wonderer Gifts

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Snow Devil

Snowman with Happy Face Badge.

To do before Saturday...

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"OK-WHO THREW THAT..??

'It's okay, there's a trampoline under the snow.'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

First Church of Non-Denominational Money Worship.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Ice Skater

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'I bet this will confuse the Antarctic scientists!'

Valleyview diet clinic

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"You need to do less talking the talk and more walking the walk."

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

"Rockefeller Center."

"I really need to start wearing clothes this time of year."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

Socially distanced sledding

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Christmas tree exchange

Hanukkah tree

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'