Health-conscious Wizard Gifts

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

'Well, well, well...'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Distance to avoid contagion

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Needs more kale.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

GM Foods.

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"Your, health check results are excellent. You have the body of an athlete... Although, probably only of bronze medal standard."

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

'Have you been eating right?'

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."

"Turn me into a toad if you want to, but you still have to post the nutritional information on your brew."

I brake for worms

'...and it has much less cholesterol than beef.'

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

'I'm the toothpaste genie offering you a free dental plan!'

"It started with sneaking kale into their spaghetti. Before I knew it I was sneaking homework into their video games."

'This is great. A fruit you can eat, drink and wash your ears with.'

Farmacy.

Santa contemplates whether or not to leave presents.

'It's true. Since I've been using this organic stuff, my potions are far more effective.'