Health-conscious Sorcerer Gifts

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

'And a piece of algae for Omega 3.'

'Needs salt!'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

'Needs more kale.'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'Of course it's lite. I wouldn't make it if it wasn't lite.'

"It's a recipe for self-care."

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

The three witches: locally sourced ingredients.

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

Office Smoking Conflict

'...and it has much less cholesterol than beef.'

'It's her own fault, she was texting at the time.'

Hammer Drill

'It's true. Since I've been using this organic stuff, my potions are far more effective.'

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

"Wait a second- is that organic?"

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

"Organic frog, tongue of gluten free dog, wing of sustainable bat..."

Candies and diet pills

'I can't do next Friday'

Watchdog Maddoff Type Fraud Schemes.

Resisting the Virus

"This is a real good deal. If you take the Gigaburger Family Four, you get free liposuction vouchers."

'I don't carry water anymore. It's hand sanitizer.'

'It appears that Medical Science has turned down the offer of my body.'

'I'm on a diet -- just make it a TWO-bean salad.'

"I miss the 'boil and bubble', but it saves a lot of time."

Hairspray witch

Joe's Tattoos - "I said Bruiser, you moron."